Chasing A Dream: Food/Weight Issues

As everyone who knows me knows, in chasing my dream of being an employed actor, I have weight issues which must be addressed.  Most of the time these days, though, I don’t have to really think about what I’m going to eat.  I think that’s due to two major factors.  The first, of course, is that I’m working the Personal Trainer Food program (remember, if you want to order Personal Trainer Food, you can get a discount on your order by clicking here and I’ll get a credit for a future purchase, too!), so I always have an entree and a vegetable ready to pop into the microwave and eat.  That makes dealing with it a bit easier.  The other factor, I think, is that I want to lose weight so badly that I have almost “turned off” that part of my brain that thinks about food so much.  I did say “almost.”  Let me explain.

Last weekend when I spent Saturday afternoon with all my girlfriends from high school and there was amazing foods from which to choose, I just selected what I’d planned to eat:  cheese, turkey, some of the no- or low-carb dips, and pork rinds, and just ate that.  I had already planned what I’d eat, and I just did it.  It was easier than I had anticipated, and I was tickled that I got through such a great snacking opportunity and stayed on my program.

Two More Dreamers

Selection of gourmet foods from Zuzu's Joy

Selection of gourmet foods from Zuzu’s Joy

And this weekend, my husband Robert (whose dream is to be a working photographer) went to West Tennessee to do a photo shoot for my sister, Suze (whose dream is to have a thriving gourmet foods company), because Suze needed photos of her new packaging for her website and brochures.  Did you understand that Suze has a GOURMET FOODS company?  That means she produces GOURMET foods…. dips for fruits and vegetables, great soups, cracker seasons, and several other products.  These are all her own formulas and recipes and are simple to make (here’s the link to her website–when you’re ready for some great stuff, peruse her products here).

Zuzu's Chicken Noodle Soup:  Add a can of chicken & cook for 20 minutes!

Zuzu’s Chicken Noodle Soup: Add a can of chicken & cook for 20 minutes!

Anyhow, we got back into Nashville around 11 p.m. and then decided to go downtown for Robert to take some photos, so we ended up returning home at about 1 a.m.  Hungry.  Now, I have to say that I am NOT a middle-of-the-night, get-out-of-bed to eat kind of chub.  But I do work 4 p.m. to midnight and often find myself hungry at around midnight.  This is THE TOUGHEST time for me to be hungry.  It is THE hardest time for me to stay on my program.  Why?  Well, I don’t want meat and vegetables in the middle of the night, I’m not ready for an actual MEAL.  An apple (the only approved fruit on my Personal Trainer Food program) just doesn’t cut hunger for me (it can satisfy the urge for the taste of something sweet but doesn’t touch hunger).  I found myself pacing back and forth to the kitchen, scrounging for something that would satisfy.  What I REALLY wanted was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk.  What was certainly NOT allowed was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a glass of milk.  I ACHED for that sandwich.  I almost CRIED because I wanted that sandwich.  In the end, I settled for a muffin I’d made from ground almonds and things that are on my approved list.  It satisfied the hunger, and I went to bed.  I have to admit, though, that I felt just a little sad about it, even though the muffin was good.  I’d never thought about grieving for any foods, but I think that’s part of what I’ll have to face.  Interesting thought to me….

The next morning, Suze called with two things on her mind.  The first was to thank us for coming down to do the photo shoot for her.  The second was to tell me how proud she was of me for simply choosing NOT to eat disallowed foods.  She said, “It didn’t seem to bother you.  You just said, ‘I’m low-carbing’ and did it.”  I guess I forgot to tell y’all the part about managing to resist all the cookies and fruit and chips for dipping and the chicken noodle (oh, noodles are NOT allowed!) soup.  And I forgot to tell y’all that we went out for Mexican food (and though I could have eaten every single chip in that restaurant, I didn’t even TASTE them).  I ate grilled steak and a guacamole salad.  No chips, no rice, no beans, no tortillas.  And it was funny to me that I didn’t grieve for those things.  I just decided not to eat them, and then I didn’t.  But it was the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that got to me.  I don’t understand why that is, but I have to admit that not being able to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich made me very sad.  Geez!  The things we learn about ourselves when we’re paying attention!

Are there other chubs that “miss” certain foods and don’t understand why?  I’d sure love to know I’m not completely nuts!  (Okay, maybe I am, but I’d rather not be the ONLY one who is!).

DREAM BIG!  I always do.  Oh, and by the way, NEXT YEAR I’m going to BE at the Academy awards.  I already have the dress designer in mind.  I just gotta find a comfortable pair of shoes!


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