Positive Thinking Can Change Your Life

Many years ago when my life was a royal MESS, I realized that many of my coworkers were going out of their way to keep from walking by my desk.  It was no wonder, really, because I was having such an extremely difficult life: I had a child with an open spine and tethered spinal cord.  Besides the stress of whether she would walk (or live), there were medical bills, no forthcoming child support, an employer who made no exceptions for those of us with difficult lives, and a history of having already been once fired for being off work at the hospital for her surgeries.  I had no college education, didn’t qualify for any financial help, and I felt lost and overwhelmed every moment of every day.  In essence, I was stress, frightened, broke, and alone with a child who deserved much much better than I felt I could give her.  Worse still was the fact that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel; it was so far in the distance that it was unimaginable.

And THEN I realized that many of my coworkers were purposefully avoiding me.  Now, I might have been destitute and stressed, but I wasn’t stupid, and I realized that the next step would be someone thinking that I needed to leave that job because being around me was depressing (I told you, I’d done that once–the lawyer that I had worked for (Joe Goodman) read a poem on my desk that depressed him and decided he didn’t want a secretary who “had something she put before her job.”  So he fired me, leaving me with no health insurance (before COBRA) to cover my spina bifida daughter.).

I HATE feeling pitiful, and decided that I would NOT continue to be pitiful.  So I put on a big, phony smile and began telling everyone how great I was doing.  It was a lie; they knew it was a lie; I knew it was a lie; but it was the best way I knew to keep people at arm’s length and protect myself, my job, and take care of my child.  So when people would ask, “How are you?” I’d give them a big, friendly, happy smile and say, “GREAT!”  I am, after all, an actress.  I heard myself saying–over and over again–that I was doing “GREAT!” or “FANTASTIC!”

The strangest thing started happening… I actually began to BE great or fantastic.  I began to see the joy and positiveness in my life, where at one time I could only see pain.  I began to laugh again, to enjoy the delight of my daughter.  I learned how better to deal with the challenges of having a physically challenged child.  I gave her more joy, because I began to be more joyful.

Once I quit allowing my pain to be so overwhelming evident and determined to make something better of my situation, things started to turn around.  I learned to control the stress rather than the stress controlling me.  I claimed good things (like when the surgeon told me that my daughter would probably be paralyzed from the waist down because he had had to sever her spinal cord, I said, “Not my daughter, she’s going to walk.”), and I got good things (she walks!).

That began my relationship with Positive Thinking.  Thanks for being here.

Remember to DREAM BIG!

peggy!

Comments

  1. This is a topic which is near to my heart… Cheers! Where are
    your contact details though?

    • Hi, Carolan, and thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I think you might have left it before the site was fully functional, so if you want to receive my updates by email, just log in your email address in the box at the right and it should automatically email you. Thanks for stopping by!

%d bloggers like this: